Gchat friend: how are you feeling this morning?
Me: great thanks!
Me (a few seconds later): actually – I’ll be honest…physically I am feeling just fine. However, emotionally I am struggling with purpose and being loved today. I woke up angry and sad….which I believe is more spiritual warfare on my mind and soul than anything. Probably more than you wanted, but I get tired of lying to people and I know that some (like you) if told the truth would take that news and pray for me rather than judge me by it.
Gchat friend: done – totally judging
Gchat friend: no, of course praying
Gchat friend: you are loved
Me: thank you
So often I find that I wake up already surrounded by the lies of the enemy. The day has just started; my eyes haven’t even fully opened and BAM! I get smacked with thoughts like “no one really cares about you….” “If you were to drop out of people’s lives tomorrow no one would even know you were gone….” “You are mediocre and really no one wants to be your friend….” “You are a bother to other people….” “There is a reason that you have to start all the text conversations with your ‘friends’, if you didn’t no one would miss you or talk to you” “You will never make a difference in the world, you will always be mediocre…..”
I do not tell you these things so that you will dispute them, or so that you will join my pity party, or even that you might feel sorry for me. I tell you these things because I believe that perhaps the biggest lie that all of us face is that we are alone in these feelings and struggles. This is the enemy’s best ploy and favorite lie. He crafts masks and tells us that we will be prettier and more appealing to the people around us if we put them on and play at the masquerade ball. To dance and play and put on a pretty smile and tell everyone that you are fine and dandy. But in reality the masquerade is just a world full of people that are struggling with the same fears, thoughts, insecurities and struggles all hiding behind their own masks crafted by the Deceiver, the Father of Lies.
Recently I’ve simply gotten tired of being at the ball. The music has faded and the laughter has died, the decorations are sagging and while many still dance and laugh and play at life….my mask that once seemed so beautiful….has become so heavy and I just want to take it off.
The only way I know how to combat these lies is by telling people my truth, telling people my struggles, my fears, my insecurities and by taking off the mask and letting everyone see the face that the Creator created. There is fear in this….because what if the lies I have allowed myself to believe are true. What if I drop my mask and no one really does like me, or all of my friends reject me. What if I don’t get invited to the next party and what if everyone else really is as “fine” as they say they are…what if…what if…what if!?!?!
There is an uncomfortable comfort behind this mask I’ve worn so long.
But what if I drop my mask, and in showing others my struggles it gives them the courage they need to drop theirs. What if you drop your mask and we see each other for who we really are; the beautiful creations that He made us. What if as we drop our masks the lies begin to fade and the battle against them becomes easier and stronger.
What if the real party is not a masquerade at all but a place where we can dance freely, where we can rejoice with those who rejoice and we can laugh with those who laugh, we can weep with those who weep and we can help one another fight our struggles together in prayer and supplication and thanksgiving?
What if I drop my mask and you drop yours and the biggest lie of all is extinguished?
Gchat friend who has seen beneath the mask – who knows the real me: I love you. Many, many other people love you too. So go on today and I will hold you in my heart intentionally.
The truth….I am not alone. I am loved and accepted just for who I am, and for this I am thankful.